To Daddy

Today is the day I remember my real daddy. He was a great hero, who was killed by the dirty Iraqis in the first Gulf War. I was only four years old at the time, and I remember how my mommy cried when they brought her the news, it was a verys ad day for our family. I remember how hard it was for her to tell me that my daddy was never coming back, but how I should be happy, as he was with Jesus now, and how we both had to be good, so we could see daddy when we got up to Heaven.
Thank you, Daddy, for fighting to protect Democracy during the first Gulf War. And God Bless Our Great Leader and all Our Blessed Soldiers who have sacrificed themselves to finish the job started by good Christians like my Daddy.

It Should Have Been Me!

Simon! Paula! Randy! Be warned! It doesn't matter who you choose tonight to be the new American Idol, I know it should have been me! That's why I'm boycotting your show, especially tonight!
But I'm out here now! There's no way you can prevent me from my destiny as pre-ordained by God Himself! I will be the next American Idol and lead America to the next level of greatness, following in the footstpes of Our Great Leader! Auditions start soon, and I will be there!
And when I become the next American Idol, there will be no more teenage girls writhing half naked on the stage! The charts will not be filled with jungle bunny music! The only love songs allowable wil be the love of God and/or the love of the USA! Gospel will be the only music allowed and you will love it or be a traitor to God and the USA! No more Bush hating Dixie Chicks, thank you, and no more mopey music either! Americans will only listen to freedom loving music, and if you don't like it here, go to Russia and complain!
Of course, I know the Jews that run the entertainment industry won't like it! they'd rather put out Jesus slandering garbage like The DaVinci Code! They already killed him once, and now wish to kill him again and again! When I rule as the American Idol, no more dark or negative movies. No adultery, or nudity of any kind! Soldiers will always be portrayed as heroes (unless they're to wimpy to kill for God) and whores will always be evil! So, if you're with me, start writing letters to those in charge at American Idol! Give Carrie her chance to fulfill her destiny!

Thanks For The Warning, Mr. Robertson!

Well, I'm glad I didn't take my cousin's advice! My cousin Brenda, one of those grungy goth girls, had at one point in time suggested if I really wanted to have a music career, I should move to seattle, which is the Hot Spot for the music industry. Yeah, if I wanted to play in a mopey rock band! Not me, when I sing songs, I want to sing happy songs that make people feel good about their live and their country, because we are so fortunate to be living in the Greatest Country in the world, during the reign of it's Greatest Leader!
So then I hear, the Honorable Reverend Pat Robertson say a major tsunami is headed for the Pacific Northwest sometime this year! That'll make all those depressed grungers happy, since they seem to wallow in self pity, God will give them something to mope about!
Pat is one of the luckiest men in the world, one of those truly good enough to be in direct communication with God! When I become famous, I hope I get to be so fortunate! Because I am so good, and such a good Christian, I am sure that God will warn me before he decides to wipe out massive populations, just in case I happen to have travel plans there! And Mr. robertson is like the Pope of America, with out all that idolatry, or greed that you find in the Catholic Papist child rapist Church!
Someday, God's will shall be done, and Mr. Robertson will be President-For-Life of America! Then he will free your soul, whether you want it, or not! Americans need to be forced to Church to thank God for the Freedom He gave them. The Freedom they don't appreciate! I love Mr. Pat Robertson! He's so much like Jesus that maybe we should all pray to Him!

Look All You Want! I've Got Nothing To Hide!

I've now seen my commercial 27 times on television! I've been trying to get a publicist, but apparently two seconds in a commercial is not enough "exposure" for them! But when you multpily it by the number of times it's been shown (as an extra, I'm not entitled to residuals, so I have no idea what exactly that number may be), I'm sure it's a couple of hours airtime at least!
When you're on your way to being the world's biggest celebrity, you need all the exposure you can get! The only problem, a lot of people are willing to give you the wrong type of exposure! A lot of pervs have suggested I pose in my altogether for them, you know, nude, as a way to gain more exposure as they would then post my picture at their website on the internets where a lot of men would see it. No thank you very much. The only people who have seen me in my birthday suit have been my doctor, my mother, myself, and my step-daddy, who would always accidentally walk in on me when I was in the shower. There are just some things a girl has to keep private!
And also, on my way to SuperStardom, there's going to be a lot of people who want to know more about me, that's only natural! So I don't mind people wanting to find out things about me, I've got nothing to hide!
Which is why I support President Bush's efforts to find terrorists by monitoring our phone calls! It seems to me the only people opposed to this would be the ones aiding alQeida by not supporting the War On Terrorism! If Osama Bin Laden or Zarqawi are hiding out in this country, how the Heck do you expect the government to find them? All this, I'm sure will prevent another horrible 9/11 from happening, and only those people who have the most to gain from that would want it to happen!
So I think it's every Americans duty to support this effort by Our Great Leader to eradicate terrorists from our country! If you don't want the government watching what you're doing, maybe it's something you shouldn't be doing in the first place!

God Has A Reason For Everything!

Everything God does, He does for a reason. For instance, when he allowed the terrorists to attack us on September 11, it was because America had embraced the homosexual lifestyle! As an added bonus, it gave us a chance to attack the dirty heathens in the Middle East and give them a chance to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior or die and rot in Hell!
When news came out yesterday about the US having the second highest death rate among infants in the world, I, too was troubled, nobody loves the babies Jesus makes more than I, so I began seeking a reason for this. I didn't have to look too far, because most of the babies that are dying are little colored babies, and God's reason couldn't have been any clearer! Many colored people have their babies out of wedlock. Many colored mothers have babies with multiple fathers, and many colored fathers have babies with multiple mothers. None of these people are procreating in the sanctity of Holy Matrimony! So God is angry with them! Also, as I have heard on Rush Limbaugh, many colored women have babies to get more welfare, which is a shame. God has decided to punish these people by taking their babies away from them so He can provide the love they need up in Heaven.
Another reason God is taking away all these colored babies is because America is His country, and He wants to keep it as pure as possible. The way the colored people are reproducing, soon enough the United States wouldn't be as pure as He intends it to be! Everything God does, He does for a reason!

The Blasphemy Code

I'm sure we all can remember the uproar caused when a Danish newspaper printed cartoons depicting Mohammed. Those Muslims threw the world's biggest hissy fit because we decided to mock their "God"! Well, imagine the uproar if someone made a movie depicting the life of Mohammed! Or, worse yet, depiciting Mohammed getting married and having children! I think we'd see some pretty horrible protests, wouldn't we? Especially if Mohammed procreated with a whore!
Well that's the whole premise of The DaVinci Code. Jesus had children with Mary Magdalene! And now Tom Hanks is looking for the descendants of that unholy union! Just another shot fired in the War On Christianity! That this comes out of Jew controlled Hollywood is no shock. Remember how the Jews became upset when Mel Gibson's great The Passion of the Christ portrayed the Jew as the Christ Killers they are? I think that this is probably their revenge, smearing the name of Our Savior by suggesting He lay down with a whore! The director of this piece of filth is probably a Jew too!
The skirt wearing Papists are suggesting a boycott, but I believe this doesn't go far enough. You can't expect more from a bunch of pedophiles! I suggest that every movie theater that dares show this film be burned to the ground, as well as all copies of the film! Christians need to show the world that we aren't going to turn the other cheek any more, just like we went after the Muslims in Iraq for attacking us on 9/11! That a film like this would come out at a time when we're bringing freedom to the rest of the world is a slap in the face of all our boys who died defending democracy! Courtesy, once more, of the liberals in Hollywood!

Look Out! Here I Come!

OMIGOD!! I'm so excited! Last night, when I was over at my friend, the gay, Brandon's apartment watching The OC, I saw my commercial!! I can't say wht the product was, but you can see my whole left side for a full two seconds!! This is better than the time when I was on American Idol, because you can see some of my face this time!! I almost tinkled my drawers when I saw it, and Brandon and I hugged and laughed, for a long time! I'm really on my way now!
Next week, Brandon and I are going to a karaeoke bar we found so I can do my act. When I showed him all the old outfits my old friend who was a gay made for me, he called them 'tacky' and that they 'made me look like a hick', so we are going out shoppuing tomorrow for something to make me look more 'hip'. If a dress covered in red, white and blue sequins isn't classy, then our country's standards fell along way under Bill Clinton! I'm sure that George W Bush, our greatest president ever, could raise them, if he wasn't too busy fighting the war on terrorists! Also, I made a new friend on the internets! Betty Jo posted a link at her blog to mine, so all the patriotic Americans over there can visit here to refresh their spirit! Like I say, either you love America, or you're an America hating liberal who ought to move to Mexico!
Speaking of Mexico, today is some Mexican holiday, another day for those taco bending bean eaters to not work, drink tequila, shoot off their pistolas and scour the streets drunk looking for little white girls to rape! So I'm staying inside tonight! Now I have nothing against loving your country, but if Mexico is so darn great, why the heck did you move to America? When you come to America, you give up all your old holidays, and only celebrate American ones, like the Fourth of July, or Christmas!

Methinks Thou Doth Protest Too Much!

What's the difference between a peace rally and a pro-immigration rally? The pro-immigration people are cleaner and don't smell as much! Real soon we'll see other criminals take to the street for their right to break the law, such as child molesters, drug addicts and wife beaters! And if you look, you'll see America survived it's one day with out illegal immigrants! Which proves my point!
Protests are pointless! Look at all the dirty hippies who take to the street to try and "stop" the Global War On Terrorism! It's like they wanted Saddam to keep sending planes into our buildings! There is a time for protests, such as standing outside a baby killing abortion clinic, and a time to throw your support behind our soldiers as they spread Democracy to places like Iran and Venezuela! Our Great President has his hands full trying to keep us safe from those who oppose freedom, so keep your mouth shut and let him do his job!
And for all you liberals who like these stinky Mexicans so much, I have a suggestion! Mexico is planning on legalizing marijuana, so all you drug addicts should move there because: a)you hate America so much, b)you love greasy Mexicans so much and c)you can't get through the day with out your "mary jane"!
After all these illegal immigrants protests, at the end of the day, guess what? They're still breaking the law. Someday when the GWOT is over, perhaps our soldiers can come home and patrol our borders and streets for those who speak out against this Great Country! Only then will we ever be free! And while they may change the words of Our National Anthem to Spanish, the immigrants could never do that to 'God Bless America'! Because He would strike them down for committing such blasphemy!