If That Slut Can Do It, So Can I!
Oh sister! It turns out you don't need talent or the backing of God to be a pop singer! It turns out all you need is a lot of your parents money and no shame!Paris Hilton is releasing her new CD, and it's so bad it makes her, like, cry! I'm sure that anybody who hears it would cry, if they weren't, you know, on ecstacy! That would explain why her single,Stars Are Blind has climbed to the top of the dance charts! Modern technology is so, like, wonderful! Now, even untalented publicity whores can be stars!
I was talking to my friend Brandyn, who's a gay, and he said that anyone can record a record! I didn't know that! All it takes is some money, and you can record your own CD! Well, my step-daddy has a lot of money! So I'm going to talk to him, and maybe he'll give me enough money (probably costs like millions of dollars. That's how much Michael Jackson spends!)to record my own! Won't that Simon Cowell be shocked when I'm on top of the charts without any help from him! Soon the world will recognize my God-given talent!
But you won't see me running around half-naked! I won't be releasing any sex videos on the internets, either! I'm going to make it on sheer talent alone! Look out, here comes Carrie!
posted by Carrie Oakey @ 3:54 PM
3 Comments:
Oh, do go and audition. I would too, but they told me there's an age restriction. I really don't need to be on American Idol, because I'm already so famous, but it would be fun to show Simon how it's really done. And then I could help him and bear all his children.
And, no, I am NOT a Gay. But I do know what is on the Gay Agenda.
Dahling, I wish you all the best, really, I do! I was in your shoes many years ago and I certainly wouldn't want to be in them now, not for all the money in Fort Knox! The lack of class in some of the famous women these days is galling, n'est-ce pas?
Well, I've got to dash, time for a manicure and pedicure! Ta, dahlings!
Hey Carrie, what the hell done happen to you? I hope that big black drunk brother o' yers hasn't obducted you. Where you at?
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