Latest Carrie Update!
Hey! I'm back! I took a little time away over the long Holiday weekend, but now, I have returned! First off, let me thank my step-daddy's lawyers, who took some time away from his legal problems (brought on by the whore across the hallway from me) to stop that nasty "John Oakey" who claimed to be my stepbrother from putting out his slanderous blog. I'm sure whoever this person was, they are receiving the mental help they so desperately need! Fame is fleeting, unless, like me, you have the talent and humility to back it up!
Also, I would like to take a second to tell you about my new job! I'm waiting tables, which I hear is a good way to be discovered! I also made a new friend there, he's a gay, and his name is Brandon. Brandon is also going to be a star! Brandon says that when he makes his first movie, I can go to the premeire with him, because although he is a gay, he really wants to be straight so bad! I will admit, it is a bit weird talking with a boy about cute boys, but as long as he doesn't steal that doctor that I will someday marry away from me and turn him into a gay, then we can be friends!
Brandon told me about a place that has a karaoke night out here, and promised to go with me and clap for me! He's really kind of cute, and I'm secretly hoping he does get to be rich and famous, then I will marry him and change him into not a gay! He has such good taste and has a nicely decorated apartment!
Also, I would like to thank my biggest fan, Mr. Mann (I swear that's his name!) for being there in my comments section. I know he might be a little older for me, but he is handsome, and if he's rich, who cares! He's so nice! Thank you, Mr. Mann!
posted by Carrie Oakey @ 6:46 PM
3 Comments:
I would tell you, Mr. Mann (what is your first name?) but I don't know how many of those other whackos out there might show up just to harrass me (like the person who claimed to be my step-brother)and make me lose my job! Or, if the person claiming to be my step-brother really is black, he might rape me! Then there is the one girl who said she would beat me up if she ever saw me, so I have to be careful! But you are a nice man, thank you so much for all your support! (Did Meryl Streep really do a pornography? What is donkey porn anyway?)
People don't turn gay, they are born gay. Oh and by the way studies have also shown that the more homophoebic you are the more likely it is that you are gay yourself. It you think you can turn a gay person straight you are the one who needs mental help.
Dammit Mr. mann, I done told you to stop stalkin Carrie din't I? I thought you was MY biggest fan. Maybe it's 'cause I aint' posted for a few days?
Carrie you better watch it. Mr. Mann might have ladies after him all over this here blogsfere.
Like I said, the Good Shepard is a great place to knock the gay out an evil homosexual, so's they don't molest no more kids and quit makin out on the streets right in our faces.
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