Don't Be Mad At Me Because Of My Anatomy!
Everybody has been commenting about my lack of clothes in my profile picture. They think I'm naked, but really I'm wearing a skimpy bikini my stepdaddy (who took the picture of me by the pool) bought for me. I didn't feel comfortable in it, and haven't worn it since, but since I am in show-biz, I thought a little immodesty won't hurt my ambitions, so I used that picture.(Okay, I did crop out the suit, because I'm not that immodest!)
In reality, I think that they hate me because, besides being the most talented singer since Jessica Simpson, I have a hot body. It's okay, I can understand your envy, it's only natural. I'm sure most of these liberals attacking me are feminazis with hairy legs and armpits, while I am the penultimate of femininity! And I'm almost sure they are all old hippies, ashamed of how gravity has affected their bra-less physiques. And the men are all envious because their wives/girlfriends are old hairy hippie women who don't look anywhere as good as I do. So, as the colored folk say, don't be hating.
posted by Carrie Oakey @ 1:53 PM
11 Comments:
Do you bleach your sphincter? It should be pure white like the rest of you. Oh crap I forgot you don't really exsist. Your just a made up character created to get angry comments. hehe clever.
No, sir, I am as real as can be. I chose not to use my name, as some of you so-called peace loving liberals (not you, but those like you)have threatened to beat "the bejeezits" out of me. I have to protect myself, as some day I'll be famous, because I have the goodness of the Lord on my side.
That doesn't follow.
First off, only one person commented on your photo, not "[e]verybody" as you say. (But now that you mention it, what is that shiny gloop by your armpit?)
Secondly, you are referring above to what "Helen Wheels" said she'd "probably" do "if [you two] met".
Thirdly, she said it after you had already set up your profile. Therefore, her comment could not possibly be the reason why you chose not to use your real name.
As an aside, is becoming famous something that afflicts all those who 'have the Lord on their side'? Only those who have the Lord on their side?
The white gloop of which you speak of by my armpit is merely water being splashed at me by my step-brother as my picture was being taken. He is awfully jealous of me since my stepdaddy pays more attention to me than him. I started out using a different name, and now are glad I did as it would appear that there are lot of people out there who not only wish me harm, but also are perverts who think I would put a picture of me in the altogether on the internets. My quest for fame is not an affliction, rather it is a higher calling to spread the word of God's love on the stage of popular entertainment. I'm sorry you find it necessary to ridicule my love for God and my quest for fame, perhaps some unhappiness in your own life has caused you to lash out at those who are your moral superiors.
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I look forward to buying your cd about how nobody understands you. teen pop rocks
Hi susie! How did you get here? Hey look, carrie is sarcastic like you. Don't let 'em get you down carrie!
See the thing is SusiebadoozieQzee, I have come across people way worse screwed up who were dead serious - complete with the formal and informal fallacies. It's a tough run sorting out the real right-wing nutbags and people pretending to be one.
I am serious! Not only am I going to be the biggest star in the world someday, but every word I type is the God's honest truth!
OK. You are real. [wink wink]
You should tone it down a bit. The last line was over the top as I proved the opposite in my first post on this thread.
Happy fictious birthday, BTW. Your profile has you a year older today.
Left of Center done left his center of sense! What he doin with a pitcher of Our Dear President Bush with a upside down phone like Maxwell Smart's shoe or some shit!
Anyways, don't lissen to that jerk missy. You go on and get yerself famous. And I ain't tryin to hitch myself onto yer wagon. I'm just nice. OK?
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